Couples & Relationship Therapy |
In couples therapy, I support and encourage you in opening up to a different kind of experience with your partner, as well as developing the skills needed to build an authentic, interdependent connection. I work to bring greater attention and understanding to the emotional processes occurring beneath the surface, making vulnerability safer, and giving our emotions more space to be attended to and understood by our partners - while also building the tools to soothe and care for ourselves. Where there has been rupture, I support clients in collaboratively building a pathway back toward repair and connection. I also incorporate a family systems focus to explore families-of-origin and potential intergenerational patterns that might be showing up in your current relationship, as this can help illuminate some of the stories we carry about relationships, attachment, love, and belonging.
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Specialities
Improving Communication and Emotional Intimacy
So many of the struggles in our partnerships and marriages arise around communication. We all bring different levels of comfort, discomfort, and defensiveness to our communication styles, particularly in moments of conflict. We may be unconsciously operating by the unspoken rules of our families-of-origin, or unknowingly protecting and defending ourselves against things that we experienced or saw in our childhoods. Some words and ways of speaking can hold an emotional content for our partners that we aren't aware of, and we might be left feeling bewildered and stuck. In therapy, we work to uncover and understand our own projections as well as the sensitivities of our partners, and collaborate on a balance between taking responsibility for our projections and attuning to the other person's needs.
Building Differentiation and Reducing Codependency
A relationship between equals is one that requires each person to be responsible for their own emotions, projections, and integrity, and make decisions that align with their values and sense of agency. True change in a relationship requires us to see our contributions to the problems in our relationship as well as our contributions to the strength and resilience of our bond. It means building the tolerance to allow our partner to be their true self and attend to their own needs, and trusting them to express their needs to us. It also means becoming trustworthy, and being able to tell our partner when we need something or desire something different from them. Building differentiation is a pathway of true growth and individual development, and our relationships can be a crucible for that growth.
Collaborating Through Transition
Maybe you're preparing to have a child, or you're navigating the gauntlet of new parenthood. Maybe you've recently moved, changed careers, or are experiencing grief, and finding that your old routines and patterns together are feeling off, or are no longer appropriate for your new life circumstances. It can take a minute for us to adjust, and many couples find themselves feeling discouraged at no longer feeling as in-sync as they may have before. Therapy is a useful container to process both the changing emotional content and the logistics involved major life transitions, and can allow for a supportive space in which you can learn about each other as your lives change. Collaboration, turning toward one another in times of uncertainty, and improving intimacy and communication can make the difference between a transition in which you are able to lovingly grow together, and a transition in which you resign yourselves to growing apart.
So many of the struggles in our partnerships and marriages arise around communication. We all bring different levels of comfort, discomfort, and defensiveness to our communication styles, particularly in moments of conflict. We may be unconsciously operating by the unspoken rules of our families-of-origin, or unknowingly protecting and defending ourselves against things that we experienced or saw in our childhoods. Some words and ways of speaking can hold an emotional content for our partners that we aren't aware of, and we might be left feeling bewildered and stuck. In therapy, we work to uncover and understand our own projections as well as the sensitivities of our partners, and collaborate on a balance between taking responsibility for our projections and attuning to the other person's needs.
Building Differentiation and Reducing Codependency
A relationship between equals is one that requires each person to be responsible for their own emotions, projections, and integrity, and make decisions that align with their values and sense of agency. True change in a relationship requires us to see our contributions to the problems in our relationship as well as our contributions to the strength and resilience of our bond. It means building the tolerance to allow our partner to be their true self and attend to their own needs, and trusting them to express their needs to us. It also means becoming trustworthy, and being able to tell our partner when we need something or desire something different from them. Building differentiation is a pathway of true growth and individual development, and our relationships can be a crucible for that growth.
Collaborating Through Transition
Maybe you're preparing to have a child, or you're navigating the gauntlet of new parenthood. Maybe you've recently moved, changed careers, or are experiencing grief, and finding that your old routines and patterns together are feeling off, or are no longer appropriate for your new life circumstances. It can take a minute for us to adjust, and many couples find themselves feeling discouraged at no longer feeling as in-sync as they may have before. Therapy is a useful container to process both the changing emotional content and the logistics involved major life transitions, and can allow for a supportive space in which you can learn about each other as your lives change. Collaboration, turning toward one another in times of uncertainty, and improving intimacy and communication can make the difference between a transition in which you are able to lovingly grow together, and a transition in which you resign yourselves to growing apart.